Got it! That sounds like you’re going for a satirical headline—something that could easily live on a parody news site like The Onion.
If you’re aiming to write a full satirical article or turn this into a humorous piece, here’s a short draft you might enjoy:
BREAKING: Elon Musk Buys ABC for $790 Million, Cancels The View After Alec Baldwin Phone Call
In an unexpected turn of events that has left both Wall Street and daytime television in shock, Elon Musk has reportedly purchased ABC for a cool $790 million—and promptly canceled The View following what sources are calling a “deeply confusing” phone call from actor Alec Baldwin.
According to insiders, Baldwin called Musk late Tuesday night to “explain the cultural relevance of Whoopi Goldberg.” Within hours, Musk had initiated a hostile takeover of ABC, citing a “need to streamline reality.”
“I wasn’t planning on buying ABC,” Musk tweeted shortly after the acquisition. “But then Alec called, and well… here we are. Also, The View is canceled. Effective immediately.”
Goldberg responded with a measured statement on-air: “We’ve survived Trump, pandemics, and Meghan McCain. But apparently, not Elon’s mood swings.”
Meanwhile, Baldwin could only offer a cryptic comment: “I just wanted to talk about Twitter… I think?”
